Good morning,
I was blessed with an opening this morning to go to my water spot.
Today I wandered back through memories of the first time I saw the water as I walked towards it. I didn’t know it was there. I just took a right on Belmont street.
A discovery. Magic.
A young mother completely overwhelmed. I military wife in a culture that didn’t really fit. As soon as I saw the water everything was fine. It was just me …. I could put all the anxiety, the tasks, the issues, my past… down. I could be still and know ….
Or maybe just the still part lol
I envision the rest of my life coming to this spot. Reading, writing, walking, talking, eating… Just being here.
I love this place. And this love is as legitimate as any other.
I truly blissed out on my walk today. Doing some research about how to include some strength and core and build that into my exercise really slowly.
And for this all or nothing wiring that’s a lot.
Today I’m thinking about Terry Real and his relational life method. How to receive influence in a smooth way with your partner, rather than power struggles and tension. I’m thinking about relational love versus transactional. I do for you, now it’s my turn.
I’m thinking about resentment.. and it’s many forms and expressions and mostly its repression.
I’m thinking about how tender trying for love is for a human being. I’m thinking about how much I still need to learn about being loving and seeing myself / knowing I am lovable. Does that have an e in it or no? Not sure. That’s ok.
Softening, thawing…. learning, growing. Baking. Cooking. Talking.
A simple life, with simple things.
Easing my complicated thoughts into their respective beds and allowing deep rest.
Hey guys you’ve done enough, we have “figured it all out” so many times, that now we just go blank so often and can’t even gather a thought when we want to.
I think it’s time for some R & R. Gentle living and loving.
That’s what I’m thinking about today. I’m writing this from my Hemingwrite Freewrite at Woodmont Beach.
I notice it’s easier to want to be out in the world now. A little at a time allowing discernment and my preferences to exist, and not to override them to please someone else.
I have a great client line up today. I work until 6:30, which is not preferrable but for right now I still have a couple late evening stragglers because “oh my God I am loyal” …
Music is one of my great loves, it accompanies me in so much of my journey. I still want to take dance lessons, privately at first so I can build up confidence. Improve in my ability to move my body in that way and not become overstimulated or perfectionistic. An important tool in the healing arsenal.
I would (could) learn guitar and piano and continue to write poetry, songs, and anything else that arises spontaneously from desire.
And of course I’m thinking about that too…
Turn me off
Turn me on
round and round
we go
Questions of
what’s beyond
the power of my mind
how to have faith
and in what
and even more
practices that
develop the
muscle
see what I did there 😉
Aliveness
What does it mean to you?
How do you know when it’s present?
When it’s not?
Anything blocking access?
Warmly,
C