A Reason a Season or a Lifetime

Fewer things do I love more than the smell of walking into Barnes and Nobles and hot coffee or cocoa….. sigh

This phrase has been on my mind so much lately. As someone who tried to turn everything into a lifetime because the original blueprint left something to be desired for. How to know what plugs into where. Square peg and a round hole is a particular speciality of mine. Cafe name ?! Maybe !

Apparently you’re supposed to use your emotions to figure these things out. Who knew those weren’t secondary or even unnecessary dead weight. Even someone who can feel them at a level that is super sonic.

Today I dreamed of owning an indie book shop with a running title Sips and Sentences. Coffee of course. Maybe sandwiches named after various literary characters. But maybe just coffee. Definitely dessert. My motto lately: keep it simple sweetie. Or kiss. I talk to myself real gentle and sweet for the most at part these days.

I’m listening to music and walking in the dreary twilight under a slight drizzle. That we will call ambience.

Lake Missoula by Richie and the something is what my Spotify Dj has picked for me. I have Linda R Long Long Time stuck in my head.

These days so many good sentences, strong ones, sprout from the dirt of my mind. And yet somehow the will to commit them isn’t quite where I want it.

Some life force piece missing. For a know it all type I’m pretty blank on this one.

Walks feed my soul.

Sunday dinners too.

I finished Book Lovers today by Emily Henry. My third romance novel this year. Whoa! Something’s happening. Towards authenticity or away?! Hmmm.

My 20th book this year, 2 behind my 30 goal. My queue (I can never spell this word), is burgeoning bursting at the seams. Life’s too short for all I want to read. But I will write a great American Novel. Someone will probably just have to organize it for me.

I’m a little over self help (a total lie), or maybe I just know I’m more full and g shit than I’d like to be. Like most of us I suppose. I think that’s really a beginning. When you end up back at start over and over to get a layer deeper into life. I should be at the center of the earth by now.

And enlightened soul would probably laugh at how much of a beginner I still am.

That’s ok…..

I truly enjoyed it (the book) A lot to relate to actually. Color me surprised.

I like when life surprises me. Sometimes anyway. Ok universe don’t get too carried away with that one. I know what you’re capable of.

Caramel conversations and Apple kisses. It’s about to be fall and I’m feeling it all as usual. My colors are changing too. My leaves about to drop. Naked and shaking again. Visceral, literal, liberal love, haunted pages.

Light and dark fights for the stage. Desires in my sights. Old and young all at once.

When I put words to a melody magic happens.

Each song brings something else forth.

Unlock me. Unravel. Time is a lie. Only energy matters.

How can you be frozen and flowing all at once.

Today I was thinking about getting coffee and I knew there was a Dunkin’ at a particular stretch near Oxford. And that the Derby Starbucks has closed. I immediately knew Dunkin was not going to be where it’s at.

And I wondered at what moment I became a full fledged Starbucks girl. Like where I’d never look back.

I realized we never know when these moments will be sometimes until years later.

I chose nostalgia of a different kind and went to Safari Kaffeine. Too sweet. Not how I remembered. Not the taste I was going for.

I’m becoming and unlocking and blooming and blossoming. Particularly as a writer. Yet there are still glaciers inside me.

Which is fine because one just can’t go melting all over the place can they?!

I’m no drip….

Anyway that’s it for my evening musings…. Walks over.