One of the most important things in life is taking time away. This is something I had to learn to do by myself for awhile. I had to learn to enjoy my own company. Now my person and I are learning the art of shared space: getting away and being alone and together all in the same short span of time. These are days that I will relish. With our budget finding affordable getaways is essential. This time we have decided to come to : The Black Swan Inn We used Groupon to accomplish this mission.
The Inn is only missing two of my most affectionately regarded elements of getaway, which are: a large jacuzzi tub, that easily fits two, and a fireplace. The Maine Stay Inn, Snowflake Inn, and Paradise Stream Cove Haven are favorites for this! I am about the cozy factor, about being on a Lake, and quaint New Englandy towns in fall. This is my personal heaven. The only drawback to this particular place are that the walls are quite thin and you can hear all the goings on. Today for example some type of hammering went on for abour 2 hours. Not one to fixate and not just ignore such a thing, I have to say it got pretty obnoxious for awhile there. It has since stopped though and piece has returned.
On this getaway we have: no fewer than 15 books, snacks, healthy and not so healthy, usually from Trader Joes (a major favorite is Le Delice De Borgougne and pears), San Pellegrino, and collection of various libations from a local liquor store. Namely a six pack of Sam Adams Octoberfest, 2 bottles of Malbec that neither of us has tried, and as a last minute impulse purchase 2 small nips of Revel Stoke Pumpkin Spiced flavored Whisky. Going to the local places is all part of the fun I have learned. I have gotten somewhat over my fuddy duddy ways of packing and bringing everything, so as not to pay inflated prices. Have I mentioned my new idea to go sober for October as a matter of health and weight loss kick off before the Holiday is really underway? Our only exception will be if there is a Two Roads event with family or we do a wine or beer tasting, but otherwise this is the plan.
The books we brought: Courtney is currently reading Practical Magic. We love the movie, but there is always so much more of the story in the book. My book that I am reading of this nature is Julie and Julia, because I fell so entirely in love with the movie. Meryl Streep (who plays Julia Child) and her husband, played by Stanley Tucci, have a relationship that one can only dream of. This movie is one of several that upon watching became the wake up call in previous unhealthy relationships. I thought as I watched, “it is possible for two people to treat one another with dignity, grace, kindness, and the utmost affection”, and it turns out after some brave moves, it is indeed possible. In addition to these we brought: The Infinite Jest, Lisey’s Story (the most recent Stephen King I tend to devour with glee, this is the one I am reading), The Artist’s Way, 3 books on ADHD, The Disorganized Mind, Driven to Distraction, and something about better organizing. Courtney brought Rising Strong, Daring Greatly (both Brene Brown books), The House of the Seven Gables, Creatures of a Day, Love’s Executioner, A year by the Sea (an absolute favorite). Reading is a shared joy of ours and I couldn’t be happier that rather than ask me why I need so many books on a 4 day Getaway, she simply smiled wryly as she plopped her stack down next to mine. We just get one another, and most importantly we have long since realized the gift of not needing to criticize or micro-manage. This gives us so much more room to enjoy the other’s special qualities and talents.
Among the other qualities that make us so successful as a couple, I believe that having much the same temperament and ideas about how we like to spend our time together is of key importance. We both would probably not be found participating in a Spartan Race or Tough Mudder. Our speed is probably more reflected by Courtney asking me, “honey perhaps at some point we could do a “Couch to 5 K together?” I love this about us. We are foodies, lounge rats, and if it were not for wanting to be around a very long time to enjoy one another we may never lose some of these new and happy relationship pounds. At some point very soon we will get around to this, maybe…. If only to be able to better love ourselves and experience the confidence that comes from giving oneself a goal and then following through. How anyone manages to make this a priority when they have as many big dreams as I (we) do… I may never know. We also share many responsibilities together as well including 3 kids, 2 dogs, each our own jobs, home ownership, and her putting up with my labrador of a mind with a writer’s imagination and heart.
Our most key shared belief of importance is that when difficult situations arise you work them out together and enjoy the closeness that provides, rather than bailing via emotional affair or otherwise. We also thankfully, share the same values. I often tell her that I’ve failed enough at love to know quite well when I have gotten it right. I have finally gotten it right. Whether slowly on here, or all at once in the book, I hope to unlock with this blogging, the ability to tell the whole story.
Although there were several minor setbacks to getting here, we finally are. I had some kind of bizarre allergic reaction last night. We are unsure yet whether I’m developing a seafood allergy (this would be tragic), or if perhaps somehow cat got into my system. It was extremely unpleasant, my face was burning and one of my ears hot and swollen. We spent the evening icing me and keeping me comfortable. I had to not whine about the fact this is not what we had planned or the fact that if I am being honest I would acknowledge that my Crohn’s Disease may be brewing a storm for us.
A favorite quote by Author Rachel Wolchin…. “My entire life can be described in one sentence: it didn’t go as planned and that’s ok.” In the case of love, it’s easy to say now, that this turned out in the best possible way. Prior to this I could have told you how miserably I had navigated the waters of love. If that isn’t perspective…
I meant this post to be more about the getaway, but I suppose this writing is reflective of the true purpose of the excursion anyway: to reflect and reconnect to ourselves, and to one another. I hope everyone gets to feel this way.
Amidst the long walks and scouring of antique shops
stopping for a beer with the locals
the lake side views and decadent meals
strolling through the newly changing leaves
your hand in mine and near to your smile
new life is breathed into my soul
I am always grateful