One of the greatest agents of change in my healing work has been David Hawkins work. Letting Go. How to put the guard down.
Love is what woke me up.
Misunderstanding leveled me, ground me to powder.
I yelled I shouted
I wasn’t understanding you either
My understanding was off line
My most egregious of
Sins have been
Misunderstanding of the self
Now don’t get me wrong I understood more than either of us gave me credit for. But I could not hold space under conditions like that.
That’s too much to ask of anyone
Figuring that out includes me acknowledging what was too much that was asked of me as a child.
Things no child should ever see or know
How does one let go of that
I don’t know
but I am
I am here
I am tireless in my pursuit and sometimes that turns me insensitive in ways I never would be
Under different conditions
Rest
A gentle embrace
Be it if you want it
So now my heart can practice opening
Less anemone
Less turtle
More jaguar
More lion
Less sharp teeth
Only a sharp mind
Less sharp tongue
More silence
More softness
Meet me here
I had the right idea that one day
On the beach
Problem was so many things
Out of my control
I am in it now and I like it here
In the land of stability
Not always
Nothing is perfect
Especially me
But as he said
“Now that you don’t have to be perfect
You can be good”
I want to be good
Grounded practice
And learning a love
I wasn’t given
I call this the almost impossible
Because it almost is
This makes me love
Almost’s rather than
Hating them
We almost had it all
We do
I do
Self
Survival
Turned
Soul