Month: July 2025

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Sourdough and Life Lessons

*so I wrote this this morning, after a lovely walk to the local farmer’s market with daughter and dog. The perfect amount of vitamin D and then back indoors so I am not ravaged.

I cannot wait to see what Esther Perel has to say about the Coldplay thing. That’s what I’m looking forward to an educated and empathic response. 

I hurt for the people hurting. 🙁 

I am trying to learn to be a person who is concerned with all kinds of hurts not just who is right and wrong. Though I’m very far from perfect at that. It’s a striving not a Destination. 

I want to be someone who has something intelligent and helpful to say about things, rather than divisive, judgmental or unkind. 

To slow down and better understand my own needs and honor them so I am present…. 

What I have learned very hard over the last five years is life does not unfold in binaries, black and white, right and wrong. It’s a Series of choices with outcomes both of which is complex and filled with light and dark aspects. 

I’m learning how to be more of a humanist than I have been in the past. Which means to me holding space for the complexities of a human journey. 

I have learned a lot of times it’s pain that teaches you the most. About how to be kind and less judgmental in general. Pain has taught me a great deal. 

And to not be the cause of someone else’s to the best of my ability I need to know myself. My light and my dark, my story and my history, all of it. I spend a great deal of time doing that now.

The poet Andrea Gibson with a heart larger than the ocean, and a beautiful mind, died this past week. That is on my mind often and heavy in my heart. 

When one is a poet / writer, we mourn our allies who are no longer with us. Our kindreds. My heart is sad that I won’t get to read anything new by her. I was only barely getting to know her. But I can through the legacy she left in the lives of others. I hope to do the same 🫶🏼

That’s what I wrote:

I’m reading The Dry Season by Melissa Febos and Grief is for the people, and mating in captivity, and how we live is how we die by Pema Chodron. See unedited this is how I write. Sometimes I capitalize sometimes I don’t…

Sourdough requires consistency, to slow down and feel what you’re doing and make tiny adjustments.

I came home with starter from the Jenkins. Learned how to bake it, quite accidentally. I didn’t overthink or under think. I just slowly did, one thing at a time.

I think I’ll prefer life like that as much as I can muster, from now on.

From now on immediately made me think of the greatest showman…. Sigh

Anyhow it’s a beautiful Saturday. I’ll spend some time alone and some with both of my daughters, and some with my partner later when she gets home from helping a friend.

Slow. I am doing everything slow. With mindfulness. With Intention. With play. With rest. With a calm mind.

This is all I have ever wanted really. Oh and like a million other things, that may all feel better now because I am no longer a walking talking coping mechanism with self long ago frozen on ice somewhere deep inside.

All my love,

C

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Spanaway Washington and Sequim. Who could have dreamt it….

Mount Rainier

So here I am from the bath…. At the Jenkins. I smell lemon and of it, lightly scented.

My crystals surrounding me in the bath tub. my only gripe is the whiter than white lights and a supreme lack of veggies and healthy food in my life, which I will remedy today. As well as movement. Travel can really mess that up, as well as quality sleep. But it doesn’t have to. I must learn to pack individual smoothie portions.

I started reading In Love with The World by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. A man born into meditation royalty sets out to make himself uncomfortable so he can better get to know his mind and essence.

I’m about half way through The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong. It’s wonderful so far. I also brought Old Souls for reading as well.

Yesterday was loud to say the least. It was also beautiful in so many ways. I began the day with tears of gratitude for the love the Jenkins family has always bestowed upon me oh so naturally. I never had to do anything for it. The way love is meant to be. I am truly blessed to have them.

Not ironic at all I should think that I am celebrating my independence with them 😉

I need to get out of this bath because I’m having some nausea. Some fresh air and fresh fruit etc will do me good. No sugar today ick! Gotta get off the stuff and not do the “it’s vacation thing” bah. When will I learn.

The comfort is just so comforting which makes you want to eat and do as the others do, when my body says don’t !

It’s a work in progress still, the getting a clear transmission about what my body needs.

Anyway here I am where the air is cleaner, the trees bushier and greener, the sky is bluer and all the colors are more vivid. The people are kinder and simpler perhaps I would say. Which has its light and dark aspects.

I don’t want to other them or me. I seek to challenge my judgements and assumptions and just continue to become an overall more attuned soul. To the needs of myself, others, but still healthfully boundaried.

That’s not too much to ask right ?! 💜🫶🏼

From the bubblegum pink skylines to how water tastes here I am enamored and grateful.

I will write more soon I’m just stretching the muscle, testing the trust, shaking the cobwebs out of my head as I embark on this trip in this lifetime.

In a couple of days I will meet my Aunt D, my father’s sister. I could have never imagined that… so many emotions.

Making friends with them, allowing the natural ebb and flow. Ok I gotta get moving.

All my love,

C