Lap one: My head is full and distracted. My body groans and rebels. I am preoccupied, filled also with all that isn’t mine.
Lap two: I begin to feel free. My muscles lubricate and begin to remember their innate abilities, outside of the domestication.
Lap three: the emotions, truth, and calm surface.
Lap four: at this point beyond my threshold so things begin to groan and grind.
I listen better to my body now. I listen better to you.
I’ll never scream my needs again, over and over making my throat raw.
Running ragged in bloody circles.
Out of my own bounds.
I can love you better like this.
When I meet my own needs.
For me being whole is a full time job. That’s not forever. It will settle into a natural rhythm, just as the tides and the seasons.
I’m enjoying my Dj feature on Spotify.
Posting the songs that resonate with my heart at this time.
Bliss
I won’t make promises I can’t know if I can keep. A promise to myself. Not selling some version of myself or seeking some magic panacea.
I have everything I need to live simply the rest of my life. I don’t need all I began to complicate my life, with when I got excited about abundance.
I am paring down to the essentials….
My idea of it now is simplicity, not being able to buy or do anything I want. That’s a perk of a hustle I call a passion, and it’s a natural side effect, not the compelling why.
Alignment
That’s what I’m focused on.
Me focused ?! Did you hear that right. Ha. I laugh at myself.
I used to take myself too seriously and everything felt like life and death. I’m happy to no longer be burning through the years I have like that.
No matter the feeling, if something is incongruent or you have to cross your own boundaries, it won’t work.
Real or unreal is an unnecessary question. The distracting one. The scaffolding. The illusion.
It’s all real and all part of my story. That’s what it is.
Now claim it Christina
Only reality is king, and when we argue with it we suffer tremendously.
I am devoutly interested in reality as it is. Not distracted with grandiose fantasies, thousands running through my brain to distract it from the pain in there.
I hold pain differently now. On my good days. On the bad ones I pray and I walk and I rest.
This is the first time I’ve done the third lap in a long time. Will there be a cost?! Who interested in a but I enjoy defying my own gravity when it’s not too harmful.
Walk the talk.
Working at staying humble.
That’s what works for me.
While still getting a little excited at the strength of my own voice.
I don’t want to be a star. I want to be a servant.